Excerpt: A Ranger's Private Diary
"Thursday----Find three bloody arrows on my desk. Discuss pros and cons of Ranger actually writing poaching report or just sending the arrows direct to central records. Went to Intoximeter Refresher Training at the sheriff's office. Motivating drunks, whose attention span is rated in nanoseconds, to blow in this thing is quite a chore. Plus you have to be careful not to let them barf on the instrument. You can't even use paint in the same room because it will register a .18 just sniffing the room air. Even a baseline sample of fresh inner city air might not pass the test. Plus you have to watch the drunk for fifteen minutes prior to testing to make sure he doesn't eat, drink, smoke, burp, vomit, or have sex with small forest animals. The last time I used it, the drunk kept thinking it was a milk shake and tried to suck on it."